Christian Formation Life Story

My Childhood

I was born on October 12, 1981, in Portsmouth, Virginia to my parents Charles and Carol Baines and was raised in Suffolk, Virginia. My parents were both in their forties when I was born after my mother had lost a previous child at birth. I have two older brothers, Charlie and Thomas, with an age gap of 20 and 15 years apart.

I grew up in a Baptist church my whole life with parents that were believers. My father was a Godly man. He was a deacon, and we would regularly attend church every Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday nights. I was actively involved in Awana's which is a Christian ministry Bible program that involved group lessons, discussions, and activities such as games. Even though my parents had me late in life, I appreciated the time and dedication invested in playing sports. It required a lot of tranportation to baseball practice and games throughout the week for 7 years.

As a child, I remember being really active and all over the place, and that seems to remain fairly relative today. I had an imagination that ran wild. The Ghostbusters were one of my favorite cartoons, so I used some rope, a shoebox, and a stick to make a proton pack and would run in the woods catching pretend ghosts. I also had a few friends in the neighborhood that would get together after school to play street hockey, football, soccer, basketball, and baseball.

Reflections

• The environment I was raised in was not the best for development skills, but I was loved.
• The environment I grew up in taught me if I ever have children of my own, I want them to feel safe when they need to be open and honest in real life situations.

Salvation & Believers Baptism

If it wasn't for my parents saving this documentation, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you the date of both my salvation or my baptism while attending Fellowship Baptist Church located in Chesapeake, Virginia.

I do remember praying for salvation followed by a gap up until my baptism. I was still shy and nervous at this point in my life. Without remembering every detail, I do remember kneeling down with my father by my bedside as he guided me through the process of understanding the prayer of salvation.

Reflections

• After my baptism, I continued actively going to church, but I was not actively pursuing growth and knowledge or sharing of the Gospel.
• I attended a Christian school from k-5 through the 12th grade and Bible class was taught every day. However, I left what was taught in the classroom right after each period ended.

The Longest Left Turn Ever

My father asked me if I wanted to drive one day. I responded "Yes." and he replied, then it's time to get a job. So I began in the workforce at the age of 14 at Bennett's Creek Wholesale Nursery doing manual labor. I worked there for 5 years before moving off to college in 2000.

This is the beginning of my long journey that can only be explained by accepting the fact that I completely chose to ignore Proverbs 3:5-6. I was leaning unto my own understanding and not unto the will of the Father's.

This is not a proud moment of my life to share. When I say "The Longest Left Turn Ever," I mean that 13 speeding tickets and two DUIs before the age of 25 were only the tip of the iceberg in bad decisions made throughout the years. This also does not qualify you for a Nascar driver. I couldn't find the image of the car I totaled but if you could see it, God was looking over me and kept me alive for a purpose that I could not see.

The power of free will, can either be for the greater good or for the greater evil.

Doctrines & Practices

• Hedonism: Choosing to live a life based on personal pleasure and not what was right.
• Rationalism: I was still choosing to live a life measured by my own standards and not what was right.
• Romanticism: I adapted the idea others will only like me if I conform to worldly expectations.

The Move Back

Fast Forward to graduating from Radford University in the Fall of 2006, I worked at Finish Line the retail shoe store throughout high school and was assistant manager throughout college. At that point I was ready to exit retail and and felt stuck. After completing the Manager In Training program and offered a store, a long-time customer that I had built a relationship with nudged me to make the move to Wachovia. Gretchen had worked there for years and loved the culture. Thanks to her motivation, I applied and was hired at Wachovia corporate headquarters in Roanoke, Virginia not long after. At the time of exiting training as a financial specialist, the mortgage crisis immediately followed. Still leaning on my own understanding and foolish antics, God still provided with keeping me safe with a job throughout multiple layoffs through the Wells Fargo merger.

In 2012, I decided to move back to my hometown area. My parents were getting older, and my mother's health was deteriorating and I wanted a fresh change after getting some bad habits under control. I was able to quickly be interviewed, hired, and transitioned from commercial banking in Roanoke to Home Mortgage in Chesapeake.

The transition from commercial to mortgage was a completely different monster. Not long after transferring, their was a change in management and I was the only one from a team of seven to keep my job. I was consolidated to another team working an average of 60+ hour weeks and unhealthily burning the candle at both ends for 3 years straight. Still enduring multiple rounds of layoffs each month, God was still faithful in keeping me safe even while I remained unfaithful to Him.

After three years, the loan pipelines slowed down, and around that time a coworker introduced me to my future wife in the summer of 2015.

Doctrines & Practices

• Hedonism: I was still choosing to live a life based on personal pleasure and not what was right.
• Consumerism: While making good money, I was still wasting it on items that never filled my needs.
• Rationalism: I was still choosing to live a life measured by my own standards and not what was right.
• Romanticism: I still adapted the idea others will only like me if I conform to worldly expectations. Throughout my entire life, I was a follower and not a spiritual leader.

Grief Share

In late 2016 I decided to take a lateral move to the same position with another mortgage company with a significantly higher salary while promised regular working hours as a kicker. Not long afterward in January 2017, I was let go from the position. I can still remember to this day Sarah sitting across from me ensuring that we will get through this together. This is the first time without a job since the age of 14. I completely lost my sense of purpose, and by not recognizing our Father has a plan for every one of us including me, I began a downward spiral that was damaging and long-lasting.

Shortly after losing my job, it was a domino effect. My mother passed away, and within 3 months of her passing, my father was diagnosed with dementia. He passed away 3 years later. I was able to work remotely due to Covid and lived the farthest from my siblings. I decided to move in to assist for a year until it was time for a proper caretaker to come in. Sarah would come on weekends to help, cook food and spend time with the both of us. She was loving and supportive the entire time. My dad would seem to have moments of clarity late each night. He would come sit in the office, and we would have quality conversation. It wound up being a mind trick for me because the following morning, I would continue where we left off, but he would have no recollection. I never adjusted to that situation.

Shortly after moving out, I married my best friend. Backtracking through this long season has been the hardest part in accepting how much chaos and confusion blurred together while I wasn’t the man I needed to be for her. Hitting rock bottom more than once reminded me to be thankful for the parents who raised me in the church. Deep down, I always knew there was no hope without Him, yet I still struggled with humility and self-awareness.

Disappointments

• I wish I would have been stronger and more stable for my wife.
• I wish I would have asked my parents more questions and to know more about them.
• Instead of working remotely as a part-time mortgage quality analyst and full-time trying to start a small business, I wish I would have spent more quality time with my dad while he was still alive.

Doctrines & Practices

• Hedonism: Choosing to live a life based on personal pleasure and not what was right.
• Individualism: I was living a life based on pride that I could do it all on my own.
• Consumerism: While making good money, I was still wasting it on items that never filled my needs.
• Romanticism: I adapted the idea others will only like me if I conform to worldly expectations.

The Longest Right Turn Ever

Sarah and I began attending church back in 2020 at Virginia Beach United Methodist Church and the same church where we were later married in 2021. When COVID hit, we started watching services through live stream at home. During that time, we talked about trying out different churches, and I mentioned that I had attended First Norfolk Baptist around 2012 with my brother Charlie and his wife. I remembered Pastor Eric Thomas and how much I appreciated the way he shared the Gospel. One Sunday, we decided to watch a live stream from First Norfolk, and I was excited to see that he was still there.

When churches began reopening, we visited a few different ones but quickly felt drawn to First Norfolk Baptist Church. We wanted to get plugged in right away, so we tried out a few Life Groups. Through the Growth Track, we met Stu and Christine McKellar. They were the first couple we had met, and they invited us to the Life Group they were currently attending, One Accord. After attending for a few weeks, we both felt it was the perfect place for us to grow in our faith and build meaningful relationships.

Looking back, I can see how God’s plan has always been better than my own. I’m so thankful for how He has surrounded my wife and me with such loving and supportive people. I still face struggles and know I’ll never be perfect, but my hope is to continue growing, to one day be the kind of support for others that we are currently receiving. I know I can’t do it on my own, and I often lose focus while recognizing it but this is where I am blessed that our Father's grace is never ending.

The most important "longest right turn" for me has been learning to place my full hope and faith in our Father, walking through life alongside other believers who encourage and challenge me to grow.

Doctrines & Practices

• Individualism: I still struggle with pride and control trying to fix everything.
• Consumerism: I still find myself wasting money on things that I don't need.
• Romanticism: I still struggle with particular feelings instead of taking everything to the Father and letting Him guide me.